Mozart's father had 7 children but there 5 children were died when they were be born. When Mozart's father knew that Mozart was good at the music he started to give Mozart a good environment to study music. So Mozart's father was an important person in Mozart's life.
I think a person want to be success the family is an important part of the person. If the person's family can alimentation what he want to do he can success faster.
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Be careful about your topic sentence and concluding sentence,and more careful about your word choice and grammer,after these change I think it will become more better.
Some of your grammer were not right.Such as the first sentense the grammer "were be born"is not correct it should be were born.Then your essay will be more perfect.
I think family is really important for everyone.Family has changed for us.family can give us encourage and power. When we feel tired,family can give us power.So family can change a lot in our life.
It's too short,and the article is too
simple and crude.But it's commonplace to understand.Some grammar had mistakes.If the writer wrote more ideas of his mind,the article could be more substantial and abundant.
It was ok that your sentences had some mistakes. Because more mistakes would help you and others had chance to learn again; also be more carefully next time. Mozart could be more good at music was because of his family. Thereby, you and us could be more good and succeed by our friends or teachers; even the mistakes that we had made before. So that,keep trying and do your best. By the way,I think you do a good job :)!
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